rummy333

Background Music

2010-12-22T07:11:00.000-08:00

If my blog were to have a background music,
this is definitely it.

Hypnopompic Hallucinations

2010-11-09T18:49:00.000-08:00

You

Paris

Milan

Sun shining brightly

Is this the only place we meet?

Where You Want To Be

2010-10-02T11:12:00.000-07:00

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Are you where you want to be?

Am I where I want to be?

Did we take a sharp left when we should have turned right?

Endless string of questions
What's the point?
You are where you are, and I am where I am,
that's what does matter, isn't it?

2010-09-20T11:59:00.000-07:00

รักเธอทั้งหมดของหัวใจ - โจ้ Pause - ดูคลิปทั้งหมด คลิกที่นี่

ทุกครั้งที่ฉันคิดถึงเธอ
ใจมันคอยบอกตัวเองอยู่เสมอ
ว่าเธอนั้นเป็นสุขไปแล้ว
ทุกครั้งที่ฉันนั้นเห็นภาพเธอ
วันคืนเก่าๆ ก็กลับมาเสมอ
มีแต่เธอที่จะไม่กลับมาแล้ว

ยังมีอีกหลายสิ่ง
ที่ฉันยังไม่เคยพูดสักที
และมีอีกหลายอย่าง
ที่ไม่เคยทำจนวันนี้
รัก.... รักเธอ ทั้งหมดของหัวใจ
สิ่งเหล่านั้นเก็บไว้ข้างใน
เธอได้ยินไหมคนดี
อยากขอ.....ให้ความรู้สึกที่ฉันมี
ส่งไปถึงเธอที่แสนดี
ว่าชีวิตนี้ฉันมีแต่เธอดังความฝัน
จะพบกัน อีกได้ไหม
หากฉันนั้นรู้ตัว ก็คงไม่มัวเก็บมาจนวันนี้
โอ้คนดีนั้นคงได้บอกไปแล้ว

ยังมีอีกหลายสิ่ง
ที่ฉันยังไม่เคยพูดสักที
และมีอีกหลายอย่าง
ที่ไม่เคยทำจนวันนี้
รัก.... รักเธอ ทั้งหมดของหัวใจ
สิ่งเหล่านั้นเก็บไว้ข้างใน
เธอได้ยินไหมคนดี
อยากขอ.....ให้ความรู้สึกที่ฉันมี
ส่งไปถึงเธอที่แสนดี
ว่าชีวิตนี้ฉันมีแต่เธอดังความฝัน
จะพบกัน อีกได้ไหม

ยังมีอีกหลายสิ่ง
ที่ฉันยังไม่เคยพูดสักที
และมีอีกหลายอย่าง
ที่ไม่เคยทำจนวันนี้.....
รัก.... รักเธอ ทั้งหมดของหัวใจ
สิ่งเหล่านั้นเก็บไว้ข้างใน
เธอได้ยินไหมคนดี
อยากขอ.....ให้ความรู้สึกที่ฉันมี
ส่งไปถึงเธอที่แสนดี
ว่าชีวิตนี้ฉันมีแต่เธอดังความฝัน
จะพบกัน

บอก..รัก.... รักเธอ ทั้งหมดของหัวใจ
สิ่งเหล่านั้นเก็บไว้ข้างใน
เธอได้ยินไหมคนดี
อยากขอ.....ให้ความรู้สึกที่ฉันมี
ส่งไปถึงเธอที่แสนดี
ว่าชีวิตนี้ฉันมีแต่เธอดังความฝัน
แล้วสักวันจะไปหา

2010-09-12T11:50:00.001-07:00

Thoughts

2010-06-07T09:36:00.000-07:00

ยังเดินทางทุกวัน
ที่ๆเราพบกัน เมื่อก่อน
ยังจำซ้ำๆ ได้ทุกตอน
ราวกับมีใครมาหมุน ย้อนเวลา

แต่ก็คงจะหมุนย้อนได้แค่ในความคิด
ในชีวิตจริงคงไม่เจอกันอีกแล้ว
ยืนอยู่ตรงที่เดิม แต่ไม่มีวี่แวว
เธอจากไปแล้ว และคงไม่ย้อนคืนมาหา

ได้แต่ฝากความคิด ของฉันเอาไว้
เผื่อวันไหนเธอผ่านมา
เห็นที่เดียวกันนี้
เธอจะนึกขึ้นได้ว่า
เคยมีคนหนึ่งอยู่ข้างเธอ
อยู่ตรงนี้เสมอ ตลอดมา

ให้เธอสัมผัสความคิด ที่ฉันทิ้งไว้
อาจไม่เห็นได้ด้วยตา
ฉันจะฝากเอาไว้ อยู่ในผืนดินและท้องฟ้า
มันเป็นความคิดที่กระซิบว่า
ฉันไม่เคยลืม

อยากเจอเธอเหลือเกิน
เพราะก่อนที่เราต้องเดิน แยกทาง
ฉันมีความคิดหลายๆอย่าง
หลายอย่างเหลือเกินที่ฉัน ไม่ได้พูดไป

แต่กลับมานึกขึ้นได้ในเวลานี้
ในเวลาที่เธอเดินจากฉันไปแสนไกล
หากเธอนั้นยังอยู่ จะกอดเธอให้ชื่นใจ
และคอยพูดออกไป ทุกสิ่งที่อยู่ในใจฉัน

ได้แต่ฝากความคิด ของฉันเอาไว้
เผื่อวันไหนเธอผ่านมา
เห็นที่เดียวกันนี้
เธอจะนึกขึ้นได้ว่า
ยังมีคนหนึ่งอยู่ข้างเธอ
อยู่ตรงนี้เสมอ ตลอดมา

ให้เธอสัมผัสความคิด ที่ฉันทิ้งไว้
อาจไม่เห็นได้ด้วยตา
ฉันจะฝากเอาไว้ อยู่ในผืนดินและท้องฟ้า
มันเป็นความคิดที่กระซิบว่า
ฉันไม่เคยลืม

I had wished this, to be my last entry,
but it probably won't.

On the road that stretches before me, far beyond what I could see,
and the journey that I embarked on, unaware,
there is no end in my sight.

The series of oasis I encountered is merely a mirage;
the illusion that had kept me going, hopeful,
only to left me parched and drained.

Tormented by the oppressing heat, my heart slowed, with every breath I took.
The wind's sharp blade slashed through my flesh, and bled me dry,
while the invisible wounds covered my skin.

The grains of sand numbed my senses, but reminded me how I was alive;
yet offered none as to why.

The endless road,
the prolonged sufferings,
the sandstorm that could come during the times of calmest serenity -

Where do I head to?

What do I expect to see, when night comes?
What will I see?

Will I be able to make it through to see the dawn?
Will there still be dawn, when there isn't you?

If only there are answers.

Or maybe it's the time for me to start to think by myself,
for myself.

Because Sometimes Pictures Aren't Equivalent To Words

2010-06-04T08:14:00.000-07:00

Liking you borders on impossible;
I did.

Hating you is like snapping my fingers;
I don't.

Did you hate me, that much, for being me?

Were you not happy?
Or was it just not enough?

Stream

2010-05-27T06:43:00.000-07:00

The same song

at the same place,

same feelings,

but we thought about different persons.

------------------------------------------------

It hurt so much in the Past,

and the Future holds so much pain.

Just by thinking about them,

my Present suffers.

-------------------------------------------------

Dear Blog,

You exist in my thoughts, in my dreams,

in my feelings, and in my emotions.

But if the intended message couldn't get across,

should Words be crafted?

Challenge

2010-05-17T09:31:00.000-07:00

I challenge
you
to find a girl
who can cook,
follows soccer,
loves good food,
reads Plato,
writes poetry,
is an amateur photographer,
likes to exercise,
knows good music,
doesn't mind breaking rules,
tends to crack jokes,
laughs a lot,
watches French films,
can talk to you about almost anything,
is pretty hot,
and is kind to you,

almost unconditionally.

I challenge you to find her,
and I bet that
you will never ever do.

And in a way,
I feel glad for her.

My Irony

2010-05-12T06:35:00.000-07:00

So won't you be the best of me?
Will you be just another memory?

Won't you catch a minute with me?
And maybe we'll get past this irony.

----------------------------------------------------------

It didn't cost you a thing, to be with me.
So where does that leave me?

'free' is too high a value?

Maybe the 'irony' only exists on my part.

From Another Foolish Perspective

2010-05-09T08:59:00.000-07:00

You didn't forget,
but I wasn't satisfied.
This emptiness,
why?

You didn't forget.
And she didn't forget.
I could see it all so clearly
why.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

I made such a big deal out of being a replacement,
a substitute.
I didn't even think that it'd hurt too,
when someone replaces you.

What a fool.

An Escape

2010-05-02T02:04:00.000-07:00

The thick curtain that I so gladly,
foolishly installed,
had now started to thin.

And so the Light begun to shine,

to sate the unquenchable thirst,
and extinguish the eternal flame.

Not exactly a fresh start,
nor a new beginning,
but a gratifying progression -
gradual, but solid.

An attempt at breaking away,
and setting both of us free.

Almost Lover

2010-05-01T05:11:00.000-07:00

....................................................

So you're gone and I'm haunted

And I bet you are just fine

Did I make it that easy to walk

Right in and out of my life?

....................................................

//The song that I luckily discovered a year too late//

Because It's Been Too Long

2010-05-01T02:45:00.000-07:00

I did not wish to talk,
because I dreaded the time when your voice would end.

I did not wish to hear,
because it reminded me how the others knew more about you than I did.

I did not wish to see,
because it was so obvious that you smiled when you weren't with me.

Your happiness and laughter,
I did not wish to recognize,
because it was so hard to recognize mine.

One year,
365 days,
is too long.
And maybe too short.

A Humble View on Love

2010-04-12T23:43:00.000-07:00

Love that was never realized, is not Love.

Love without responsibility is not Love.

Love that was abandoned, is not Love.

Lost love is not Love.

Selfish love is not Love.

Love that dies in a blink of an eye, is not Love.

--------------------------------------------

'Tis better not to have loved at all

Than to have loved and lost.

Time Zone

2010-04-12T23:37:00.000-07:00

Between us, there exists

a glass barrier

that is spatially inaccessible.

The fact that we are

in the same room

is irrelevant.

Audibly,

with my back facing yours,

almost touching,

I kept running

and you keep running.

Similarities

2010-04-11T09:23:00.001-07:00

You said I should forget

I wished I could forgive

You walked away

I stayed

You look into her eyes

I stare at the clock

For you, a day is too short

for me, 24 hours is too long

At night, you have a sweet dream

the same night, I lived a nightmare.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Isn't it ironic that I used to think we could not have been more alike?

Wherever You Will Go

2010-04-05T09:20:00.000-07:00

If only I would follow someone home,
when I should.
If only I could.

I changed every time I left a place;
sometimes just by a little bit, and sometimes completely.
But I think I changed the most
when someone who left, changed.
It's as if the person I knew never came back.

Or maybe it was 'I' who changed in that someone's absence,
or maybe we all changed all the time.

Wherever You Will Go

So lately, I've been wonderin
Who will be there to take my place
When I'm gone, you'll need love
To light the shadows on your face
If a great wave should fall
It would fall upon us all
And between the sand and stone
Could you make it on your own

[Chorus:]
If I could, then I would
I'll go wherever you will go
Way up high or down low
I'll go wherever you will go

And maybe, I'll find out
The way to make it back someday
To watch you, to guide you
Through the darkest of your days
If a great wave should fall
It would fall upon us all
Well I hope there's someone out there
Who can bring me back to you

[Chorus]

Runaway with my heart
Runaway with my hope
Runaway with my love

I know now, just quite how
My life and love might still go on
In your heart and your mind
I'll stay with you for all of time

[Chorus]

If I could turn back time
I'll go wherever you will go
If I could make you mine
I'll go wherever you will go

Repetitions

2010-04-03T05:18:00.000-07:00

I still dream about you.

Am I abnormal?

Am I sick?

I don't know if my dream reflects what I want,

or what I don't want,

or what's going on in reality.

I sincerely do not know,

and all I can do is keep wondering.

There used to be a time,

when I'd happily tell you that I dreamt about you.

Did you ever think I was a psycho?

Did you ever feel weird?

Did you ever dream about me, too?

I remember, once.

Was it a lie? Just another one of your well-executed move?

Sometimes I do wonder where you store all those memories,

so many of them, and so many 'special' someones of yours.

You must be blessed with a supercomputer-like brain.

I still remember the time I dreamt about him.

I'd say, 'Can't I? Just this one, just him?'

to god-knows-who.

A half-prayer, half-desperate cry of my subconscious.

That never happened in my dream with you.

...

Maybe the conscious part of my mind already speaks loudly enough.

Replacement of a Substitute

2010-04-03T05:12:00.000-07:00

Maybe it wasn't fair for me to blame it all on you,

to say that you lied,

to say it was all your fault.

Maybe it was my fault too;

I lied,

and the 'me' that you know

was just a pretension,

a delusion.

Maybe I wasn't in my right mind,

because if I was,

I probably wouldn't have gotten so dangerously close to you in the first place.

Free Cone Day. Free Me Day.

2010-03-22T09:21:00.000-07:00

I wanted to say,

I'm pretty now;

let's hang out sometimes.

I just don't know that,

between

you - whom I think might be lured by such artificiality and superficiality - and

I - who resort to such measure - ,

which one of us is more pathetic.

rummy333

2010-03-21T09:38:00.000-07:00

Ask me anything (photo too) at:http://www.society.me/rummy333

On a Cab

2010-03-21T08:17:00.000-07:00

We talked;

not because I had missed you dearly,

not because I wished to share with you slices of my life in your absence,

not because I wanted to know about slices of your life in my absence,

not because it was so natural for us to talk and laugh,

most definitely, not because I longed for the moment every single day,

but because there was a third person present,

and because of the social mask of perfection I had so consciously put on.

I was glad;

because I didn't have to see your face and look at you in the eyes,

because you didn't have to see my face and look at me in the eyes,

since that was already all the strength I could muster.

Just A Dream

2010-03-21T00:13:00.000-07:00

While you were probably dreaming about someone else,

your images flooded my brain;

While you were probably talking to someone else,

your voice filled up my ears;

While you were probably walking with someone else,

I retraced every steps we had taken together, in my mind;

While you were probably laughing with someone else,

your past laughters rekindled my tears;

...

---------------------------------------------------------

Things change, don't they?

Thing changes, doesn't it?

You just don't want me anymore, do you?

Someone

2010-03-17T04:09:00.000-07:00

Someday,

someone might have to change because of something.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There are a million words that I want to say to you, but you will hear none.

There are a million stories waiting to be told, but you will not know of any.

There are a million ungiven smiles and kind hugs, but not a single one will be delivered to you.

There are a million emotions waiting to be expressed, but not even one will be shown to you.

There are a million dreams with you that I want to share, but you will never be a part of one in reality.

There are a million things I wish we could do together, but I'll make sure none of it happens.

Together, we have a million possibilities, but we made all of them remain impossible.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Someday,

someone might have to change because of something.

I'd never have thought that that something would be you.

I Need You

2010-03-12T04:43:00.000-08:00

I need you like water, like breath, like rain.
But you were just like alcohol - addicting, intoxicating and debilitating

I need you like mercy from Heaven's gate.
But you pushed me through bottomless hell, and left me there without a glance back

There's a freedom in your arms, that carry me through.
Your touches weighed me down, killing me slowly from the inside out

I need you.
Still,
I need you

You're my only reason.
The reason to change who I used to be, to not care, to be perfect

You're my only truth.
Because all I ever heard from you was lie

I need you.
Still,
I need you,

Perhaps as much as ever.

Just Another Mundane Scene

2010-02-06T22:59:00.000-08:00

I stared, vacantly, at him for a sec, before

he spoke.

His mouth began to form an arch.

Everything moved in a slow motion now.

The sound cut across the air significantly slower than the sight.

I saw, clearly, a fully-formed 'O', before

I heard,

a delayed

"GO!"

and the explosion came.

In Conjunction with the Previous Post

2010-02-02T03:34:00.001-08:00

Finding true love is like winning a lottery.

The chance of getting it is so small that I'd rather not dream about it.

In Conjunction with the Next Post

2010-02-02T03:31:00.000-08:00

You are the first, and the only, entry in my hate-list.

To be precise, the list exists only for you and you alone.

Resemblance

2010-01-22T22:42:00.000-08:00

In this dark circle,

The Light that shines

The reflection

The cooling shadow

...

Iridescence at the end of the tunnel

I squeezed through, optimistic,

before the bone-crushing pain fell.

Unreasonableness

2010-01-20T07:35:00.000-08:00

"I trust you."

"If 'you' don't exist, how can I live?"

Are these equivalence of Love?

Obviously not.

Or maybe the first sentence is,

but the second one isn't.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Here and There

2010-01-19T21:40:00.000-08:00

In this dimension

time proceeds and retreats

with irregular pace

while I stand still

Forcing my eyes shut

I see colours at the back of my eyelid

that are drawn by the almost invisible string

Treading the thinnest strand,

loneliness creeps heavy

Unbearable.

-----------------------------------------------

ความทรงจำ - Musketeers

อยู่ในช่วงเวลา

จะนานจะช้า ยังยืนที่เก่า

ข่มตาสักเท่าไหร่

...

คืนวันเก่าๆยังคอยย้ำ

...

If I were you

2010-01-18T06:07:00.000-08:00

If I were you, I'd definitely love me

If I were you, I'd say "I love you" to me everyday

If I were you, I'd miss me everyday

If only I were you

...

If I were you, I'd hold only my hands

If I were you, I'd just look at me everyday

If I were you, I'd dream that we're lovers

If only I were you

...

If only I were you,

I'd not hesitate

I'd just make a decision

If only I were you,

I'd say "I love me".

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Ball Jarulak- one of my fav singers

He was born in the U.S. and grew up in Thailand

Started to follow his dream in music career since 17

He's now 24, and his songs are all so cute ><

The Korean part is by a Korean girl that he likes

Basically this is the song that he wants to give to her ^^

how sweet~~~

Unsent Message (3)

2010-01-16T20:15:00.000-08:00

I still remember your wallet.
What kind of forgetting is this?

Memory is a funny thing.
The good parts enter first into oblivion,
because I believe they are the most torturing

But in the details hide a multitude of needles
not fatal, but tormenting in a different way

Calmly removing them one by one,
every single piece is a reminder of my stupidity, of time wasted
It's all about me now,
and the pain,
and patience.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Something starts and ends in 3 messages
Pathetically short but excruciatingly long
a story; a dark fairy tale; a lesson.

Unsent message (2)

2010-01-16T07:37:00.000-08:00

Everyone keeps saying we should be friends
Can you give me a reason why?

Because I was betrayed?
Because my feelings were abused?

When torn by dilemma, I always walked towards you
Look at where I am now -
alone in the dark,
burnt by caustic teardrops.

I wanted to ask you, like I always did, about what I should do
Because I believed with my whole heart,
but what to do now when all I ever heard was lie.

I'm exhausted
Can you give me a way out?
Can I trust you, for one last time?

To close my eyes and wait
is all I could do.

Unsent message (1)

2010-01-16T07:29:00.000-08:00

The last time you were sick, I didn't take care of you because:

1) I didn't know where you lived
2) Your girlfriend wasn't me

Now that I've cleared the first condition, and you're sick,
can you help me clear the second one?

With Me

2010-01-03T08:38:00.000-08:00

Just forget everything

Leave everything here and walk away

Do you not know that when I chase you away, it’s when I need you the most?

Do you not think that those piercing words have to cut through my flesh first, before they reach you?

Do you not realize that the sharp edges in those words are made out of the debris of my fractured self?

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

All those memories and nostalgic moments

Thousands…millions of them

With you…within

I will manage

I thought you understood, and will understand

I could not have been more wrong

It’s my choice to be blind, to refuse the fact that you probably do understand

Because it’s too painful

to admit that you knew, but still did what you did

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As night becomes dawn, words aren’t enough.

Bonds are broken

Don’t look back: I’m just sending you off, before returning to my place

Tearing it with my hands, do you not see how they bleed?

Irrevocable, just so that I won’t regret

The painted glass above my head crumbled down in pieces

I looked up, and closed my eyes - awashed in the glittering rain.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Leave,

even if I collapse, out of breath

desperate to call, but thankfully held back by my dignity

Because it's necessary.

(Not)Beyond Reasonable Doubt

2009-11-26T06:33:00.000-08:00

I'm supposed to be packing,

but suddenly I feel so depressed.

I have to throw all my notes away...I seriously cannot keep them,

but just looking at them made me feel so sad ;(

Feel like those notes, those essays are a part of me

I poured my life into them.

I did so much, I tried so hard during the past two years

only to screwed it up during, like, the last month?

What was all those sweat, tears and blood for?

I just can't help but doubt.

What did I learn?

When did it go wrong?

Who am I?

What if the effort is just wasted?

Where will I belong?

Two years and three hours - it's plain unfair.

Acid Rain

2009-11-19T04:35:00.000-08:00

Acid Rain

Falling down from the dark, dark sky

the piercing, toxic rain

that blurred the spatial twins,

refreshed the numbing pain,

and the temporal overlaps

something bleeds raw - from selective corrosion -

while something remains

the product of internal pollution

that leaves behind a marbled memory stain

Drowning in droplets of water

Will the sky ever be clear again?

------------------------------------------------------------

I'm really not emo.

But the weather is just so depressing ):

Once upon a time

2009-11-18T03:08:00.000-08:00

depressing weather

horrendous econ paper

stressful application

annoying headache

*hopeless me*

Yes/No

2009-11-08T01:38:00.000-08:00

Yes - The pain. The shallow breath. Time is running out.

Yes - A mirage. The shattering blow. The route that disappeared.

No - Carelessness. Injurious desire. Misplaced trial.

No - Optimism. Unwavering delusion.

Yes/No - Anger and hatred. Broken clock. Never once.

Yes/No - Half-infatuation. Reasons to forget. Deleted scenes.

Yes - Everything ends here.

No - Was I?

Yes - Were you?

Yes - Everything ends here.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

All the best for 'A'-levels!!!

Just hold me tight and I'll be fine

2009-11-06T17:07:00.000-08:00

This song gets me back on track (of sanity)
Never thought Hongki's voice would be nice for English song >3<

Always Be Mine - FT Island

I hear you breathe
You're lying close to me
The shadow's gone
I have found my peace

You make me calm
With you I'm safe from harm
And right by your side
I'll stay through the night till eternity
That's the way it will be

And I wonder what you're dreaming of
You're so peaceful when you sleep
Everything I want
Everything I need
Is lying here in front of me

If I ever lose my power to fly
Then your love takes me high
I always be true to you
Sometimes I think I might lose it all
Guess the chances are small

Cause you hold me close
I feel you near
Don't let go say you'll always be here
Just hold me tight
And I'll be fine
Dreaming you will always be mine

Just like the sun
You make me warm inside
Like a soft summer breeze
A moment to seize so true
I won't stop loving you

And I wonder what you're dreaming of
You're so peaceful when you sleep
Everything I want
Everything I need
Is lying here in front of me

If I ever lose my power to fly
Then your love takes me high
I always be true to you
Sometims I think I might lose it all
Guess the chances are small

Cause you hold me close
I feel you near
Don't let go say you'll always be here
Just hold me tight
And I'll be fine
Dreaming you will always be mine

Dreaming you will always be mine
--------------------------------------------------------------------

They say we need at least 12 hugs a day to grow.
My growth is obviously stunted.

At Night

2009-11-04T04:28:00.000-08:00

ตะวันลับฟ้า เมื่อตอนเย็นๆ จะเป็นเวลาที่ใจหาย

ปลายท้องฟ้า กับแดดรำไร ฉันเหมือน ใจจะขาด

ยังกังวล กับใครบางคน ที่ไม่อาจพบ และเจอ

[ ]*

ไม่เคยได้รู้ ว่าเธอเป็นไง

ข่าวคราวเงียบหาย เมื่อจากกัน

เธอมีใคร มาแทนที่ฉัน และเขา ดีรึเปล่า

มีฉันไหม เวลาที่ฝัน หรือว่าลืมทุกเรื่องราว

[ ]*

Disappearing sun, darkened sky

At the horizon, night starts to fall

Something feels amiss

Someone - we aren’t to meet

Deafening silence

Ever since final farewell

Replaced, my shadow, with brightness

Lucid dream, do I ever appear?

Or all gone, memory that never was dear.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My darling Jonghyun has H1N1 >___<

PLEASE GET WELL SOON!!! <3

Monster

2009-10-30T23:30:00.000-07:00

Monster

It haunts

inconsequential fragments;

as nightmare, as hallucination;

malicious moments wreaked by imagination

It ripped me apart once

thoroughly; inside out

I broke, like clay, into pieces

still, I could crumble any minute

Half-horrified, revisit with care

afraid, that just by thinking

I'd be breathing it life

and it'd resurrect, in flashes,

and leap to attack its host

It's hiding

weakened by determined ignorance

yet eyes gleaming red in the dark

O, Time, how I await thy sword.

(greeting from my handsome cat Ninsai)

hehe Happy Halloween! xD

Not all those who wander are lost

2009-10-28T08:32:00.000-07:00

(Location: Ratchaniwet Palace, Cha-Am, Thailand)

"Not all those who wander are lost"

How true it is.

With a glint of curiosity in their eyes, some wanderers step outside the main road

in order to see, feel, and experience - with amusement, with amazement.

Just because they don't follow the straight, direct route,

or just because they don't squeeze as much out of their time as everyone else does, surely we must not count them as a lost cause?

I think some of them do have a clear sense of direction, but to them, the side scenery is just as important as their ultimate destination.

Wandering by choice, I believe, is a purposeful act, even if it is only for the sake of wandering.

Arguably, some wander because they do not know where they are heading. Worse, they are thrown off course by some mysterious factors; their originally intended paths obstructed.

Wandering into darkness, into unknown territory can also be dangerous; but every misstep, every fall, every drop of tear shed and every sigh of relief brings with it valuable lessons.

For me, my 'wandering' - the extra years perceived as 'wasted' by some (my friends are 2 years ahead of me in uni) - has been extremely fruitful.

The shell covering my ignorant, limited world was cracked open, allowing me to see and experience things in the most enriching way.

True, it wasn't all wonderful, but at the end of the day I start to have a sense of purpose, of direction.

Because I wander, possibilities present themselves, and I realize just how big the world is, how much it has to offer, how small and insignificant I am.

In between it all, I start to see where I want to go, not where I have to go, or where I think I should go - unlike previously.

So, ironically but fortunately, I discover my path while I wander.

On another unrelated matter, I found a poem on poemhunter.com which considerably brightens up my day.

Absolutely must go with this video!

Onew : Everybody Chicken!

And this is the poem - Last Night I Dreamed of Chickens (by Jack Prelutsky)

Last night I dreamed of chickens,
there were chickens everywhere,
they were standing on my stomach,
they were nesting in my hair,
they were pecking at my pillow,
they were hopping on my head,
they were ruffling up their feathers
as they raced about my bed.

They were on the chairs and tables,
they were on the chandeliers,
they were roosting in the corners,
they were clucking in my ears,
there were chickens, chickens, chickens
for as far as I could see...
when I woke today, I noticed
there were eggs on top of me.
- Jack Prelutsky

Lol Onew is so hilarious in the clip, and the poem suits a chicken-lover like him so well ;)

Love you my decent bad boy <3

SHINee hwaiting! xD

Forgiveness

2009-10-27T10:50:00.000-07:00

It's just a word, really.

A mouthful of air that made its way through my lips.

With the same amount of effort, instead of "I forgive you", I might as well have said "I want brownie" or "I love SHINee"

(the latter is preferred though).

I didn't lie when I said it.

What difference does it make when the two choices appear to be pretty much the same?

To forgive or not hold equal weight for me - zero,

but if you're willing to buy it, I'm willing to sell it.

With no feelings attached, words can't hurt that bad, can they?

Especially since they are 'not untrue and not unkind'.

Just a word.

Too many drops of tear wasted

Too many pieces of broken self-esteem

Too many fragments of memory

Too many lies, traps and pitfalls

Too little honesty and genuine care

They don't matter now, but I'll wash them all away with this one word that you want - forgiveness.

That is, if you believe me.