Background Music

If my blog were to have a background music,
this is definitely it.

Hypnopompic Hallucinations

You

Me

Paris

Milan

Sun shining brightly

Is this the only place we meet?

Where You Want To Be

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Are you where you want to be?

Am I where I want to be?

Did we take a sharp left when we should have turned right?

Endless string of questions
What's the point?
You are where you are, and I am where I am,
that's what does matter, isn't it?

รักเธอทั้งหมดของหัวใจ - โจ้ Pause - ดูคลิปทั้งหมด คลิกที่นี่

ทุกครั้งที่ฉันคิดถึงเธอ
ใจมันคอยบอกตัวเองอยู่เสมอ
ว่าเธอนั้นเป็นสุขไปแล้ว
ทุกครั้งที่ฉันนั้นเห็นภาพเธอ
วันคืนเก่าๆ ก็กลับมาเสมอ
มีแต่เธอที่จะไม่กลับมาแล้ว

ยังมีอีกหลายสิ่ง
ที่ฉันยังไม่เคยพูดสักที
และมีอีกหลายอย่าง
ที่ไม่เคยทำจนวันนี้
รัก.... รักเธอ ทั้งหมดของหัวใจ
สิ่งเหล่านั้นเก็บไว้ข้างใน
เธอได้ยินไหมคนดี
อยากขอ.....ให้ความรู้สึกที่ฉันมี
ส่งไปถึงเธอที่แสนดี
ว่าชีวิตนี้ฉันมีแต่เธอดังความฝัน
จะพบกัน อีกได้ไหม
หากฉันนั้นรู้ตัว ก็คงไม่มัวเก็บมาจนวันนี้
โอ้คนดีนั้นคงได้บอกไปแล้ว

ยังมีอีกหลายสิ่ง
ที่ฉันยังไม่เคยพูดสักที
และมีอีกหลายอย่าง
ที่ไม่เคยทำจนวันนี้
รัก.... รักเธอ ทั้งหมดของหัวใจ
สิ่งเหล่านั้นเก็บไว้ข้างใน
เธอได้ยินไหมคนดี
อยากขอ.....ให้ความรู้สึกที่ฉันมี
ส่งไปถึงเธอที่แสนดี
ว่าชีวิตนี้ฉันมีแต่เธอดังความฝัน
จะพบกัน อีกได้ไหม

ยังมีอีกหลายสิ่ง
ที่ฉันยังไม่เคยพูดสักที
และมีอีกหลายอย่าง
ที่ไม่เคยทำจนวันนี้.....
รัก.... รักเธอ ทั้งหมดของหัวใจ
สิ่งเหล่านั้นเก็บไว้ข้างใน
เธอได้ยินไหมคนดี
อยากขอ.....ให้ความรู้สึกที่ฉันมี
ส่งไปถึงเธอที่แสนดี
ว่าชีวิตนี้ฉันมีแต่เธอดังความฝัน
จะพบกัน

บอก..รัก.... รักเธอ ทั้งหมดของหัวใจ
สิ่งเหล่านั้นเก็บไว้ข้างใน
เธอได้ยินไหมคนดี
อยากขอ.....ให้ความรู้สึกที่ฉันมี
ส่งไปถึงเธอที่แสนดี
ว่าชีวิตนี้ฉันมีแต่เธอดังความฝัน
แล้วสักวันจะไปหา

Thoughts

ยังเดินทางทุกวัน
ที่ๆเราพบกัน เมื่อก่อน
ยังจำซ้ำๆ ได้ทุกตอน
ราวกับมีใครมาหมุน ย้อนเวลา

แต่ก็คงจะหมุนย้อนได้แค่ในความคิด
ในชีวิตจริงคงไม่เจอกันอีกแล้ว
ยืนอยู่ตรงที่เดิม แต่ไม่มีวี่แวว
เธอจากไปแล้ว และคงไม่ย้อนคืนมาหา

ได้แต่ฝากความคิด ของฉันเอาไว้
เผื่อวันไหนเธอผ่านมา
เห็นที่เดียวกันนี้
เธอจะนึกขึ้นได้ว่า
เคยมีคนหนึ่งอยู่ข้างเธอ
อยู่ตรงนี้เสมอ ตลอดมา

ให้เธอสัมผัสความคิด ที่ฉันทิ้งไว้
อาจไม่เห็นได้ด้วยตา
ฉันจะฝากเอาไว้ อยู่ในผืนดินและท้องฟ้า
มันเป็นความคิดที่กระซิบว่า
ฉันไม่เคยลืม

อยากเจอเธอเหลือเกิน
เพราะก่อนที่เราต้องเดิน แยกทาง
ฉันมีความคิดหลายๆอย่าง
หลายอย่างเหลือเกินที่ฉัน ไม่ได้พูดไป

แต่กลับมานึกขึ้นได้ในเวลานี้
ในเวลาที่เธอเดินจากฉันไปแสนไกล
หากเธอนั้นยังอยู่ จะกอดเธอให้ชื่นใจ
และคอยพูดออกไป ทุกสิ่งที่อยู่ในใจฉัน


ได้แต่ฝากความคิด ของฉันเอาไว้
เผื่อวันไหนเธอผ่านมา
เห็นที่เดียวกันนี้
เธอจะนึกขึ้นได้ว่า
ยังมีคนหนึ่งอยู่ข้างเธอ
อยู่ตรงนี้เสมอ ตลอดมา


ให้เธอสัมผัสความคิด ที่ฉันทิ้งไว้
อาจไม่เห็นได้ด้วยตา
ฉันจะฝากเอาไว้ อยู่ในผืนดินและท้องฟ้า
มันเป็นความคิดที่กระซิบว่า
ฉันไม่เคยลืม




I had wished this, to be my last entry,
but it probably won't.

On the road that stretches before me, far beyond what I could see,
and the journey that I embarked on, unaware,
there is no end in my sight.

The series of oasis I encountered is merely a mirage;
the illusion that had kept me going, hopeful,
only to left me parched and drained.

Tormented by the oppressing heat, my heart slowed, with every breath I took.
The wind's sharp blade slashed through my flesh, and bled me dry,
while the invisible wounds covered my skin.

The grains of sand numbed my senses, but reminded me how I was alive;
yet offered none as to why.

The endless road,
the prolonged sufferings,
the sandstorm that could come during the times of calmest serenity -

Where do I head to?

What do I expect to see, when night comes?
What will I see?

Will I be able to make it through to see the dawn?
Will there still be dawn, when there isn't you?

If only there are answers.

Or maybe it's the time for me to start to think by myself,
for myself.

Because Sometimes Pictures Aren't Equivalent To Words

Liking you borders on impossible;
I did.

Hating you is like snapping my fingers;
I don't.

Did you hate me, that much, for being me?

Were you not happy?
Or was it just not enough?

Stream

The same song

at the same place,

same feelings,

but we thought about different persons.

------------------------------------------------

It hurt so much in the Past,

and the Future holds so much pain.

Just by thinking about them,

my Present suffers.

-------------------------------------------------

Dear Blog,

You exist in my thoughts, in my dreams,

in my feelings, and in my emotions.

But if the intended message couldn't get across,

should Words be crafted?

Challenge

I challenge
you
to find a girl
who can cook,
follows soccer,
loves good food,
reads Plato,
writes poetry,
is an amateur photographer,
likes to exercise,
knows good music,
doesn't mind breaking rules,
tends to crack jokes,
laughs a lot,
watches French films,
can talk to you about almost anything,
is pretty hot,
and is kind to you,


almost unconditionally.


I challenge you to find her,
and I bet that
you will never ever do.


And in a way,
I feel glad for her.

My Irony

So won't you be the best of me?
Will you be just another memory?


Won't you catch a minute with me?
And maybe we'll get past this irony.


----------------------------------------------------------


It didn't cost you a thing, to be with me.
So where does that leave me?


'free' is too high a value?


Maybe the 'irony' only exists on my part.

From Another Foolish Perspective

You didn't forget,
but I wasn't satisfied.
This emptiness,
why?


You didn't forget.
And she didn't forget.
I could see it all so clearly
why.


-------------------------------------------------------------------------


I made such a big deal out of being a replacement,
a substitute.
I didn't even think that it'd hurt too,
when someone replaces you.


What a fool.

An Escape

The thick curtain that I so gladly,
foolishly installed,
had now started to thin.


And so the Light begun to shine,


to sate the unquenchable thirst,
and extinguish the eternal flame. 


Not exactly a fresh start,
nor a new beginning,
but a gratifying progression -
gradual, but solid.


An attempt at breaking away,
and setting both of us free.

Almost Lover

....................................................

So you're gone and I'm haunted

And I bet you are just fine

Did I make it that easy to walk

Right in and out of my life?

....................................................

//The song that I luckily discovered a year too late//

Because It's Been Too Long

I did not wish to talk,
 because I dreaded the time when your voice would end.


I did not wish to hear,
 because it reminded me how the others knew more about you than I did.


I did not wish to see,
 because it was so obvious that you smiled when you weren't with me.


Your happiness and laughter,
I did not wish to recognize,
 because it was so hard to recognize mine.


One year,
365 days,
is too long.
And maybe too short.

A Humble View on Love

Love that was never realized, is not Love.

Love without responsibility is not Love.

Love that was abandoned, is not Love.

Lost love is not Love.

Selfish love is not Love.

Love that dies in a blink of an eye, is not Love.

--------------------------------------------

'Tis better not to have loved at all

Than to have loved and lost.

Time Zone

Between us, there exists

a glass barrier

that is spatially inaccessible.

The fact that we are

in the same room

is irrelevant.

Audibly,

with my back facing yours,

almost touching,

I kept running

and you keep running.

Similarities

You said I should forget

I wished I could forgive

You walked away

I stayed

You look into her eyes

I stare at the clock

For you, a day is too short

for me, 24 hours is too long

At night, you have a sweet dream

the same night, I lived a nightmare.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Isn't it ironic that I used to think we could not have been more alike?

Wherever You Will Go

If only I would follow someone home,
when I should.
If only I could.

I changed every time I left a place;
sometimes just by a little bit, and sometimes completely.
But I think I changed the most
when someone who left, changed.
It's as if the person I knew never came back.

Or maybe it was 'I' who changed in that someone's absence,
or maybe we all changed all the time.




Wherever You Will Go

So lately, I've been wonderin
Who will be there to take my place
When I'm gone, you'll need love
To light the shadows on your face
If a great wave should fall
It would fall upon us all
And between the sand and stone
Could you make it on your own

[Chorus:]
If I could, then I would
I'll go wherever you will go
Way up high or down low
I'll go wherever you will go

And maybe, I'll find out
The way to make it back someday
To watch you, to guide you
Through the darkest of your days
If a great wave should fall
It would fall upon us all
Well I hope there's someone out there
Who can bring me back to you

[Chorus]

Runaway with my heart
Runaway with my hope
Runaway with my love

I know now, just quite how
My life and love might still go on
In your heart and your mind
I'll stay with you for all of time

[Chorus]

If I could turn back time
I'll go wherever you will go
If I could make you mine
I'll go wherever you will go

Repetitions

I still dream about you.

Am I abnormal?

Am I sick?

I don't know if my dream reflects what I want,

or what I don't want,

or what's going on in reality.

I sincerely do not know,

and all I can do is keep wondering.

There used to be a time,

when I'd happily tell you that I dreamt about you.

Did you ever think I was a psycho?

Did you ever feel weird?

Did you ever dream about me, too?

I remember, once.

Was it a lie? Just another one of your well-executed move?

Sometimes I do wonder where you store all those memories,

so many of them, and so many 'special' someones of yours.

You must be blessed with a supercomputer-like brain.

I still remember the time I dreamt about him.

I'd say, 'Can't I? Just this one, just him?'

to god-knows-who.

A half-prayer, half-desperate cry of my subconscious.

That never happened in my dream with you.

...

Maybe the conscious part of my mind already speaks loudly enough.

Replacement of a Substitute

Maybe it wasn't fair for me to blame it all on you,

to say that you lied,

to say it was all your fault.

Maybe it was my fault too;

I lied,

and the 'me' that you know

was just a pretension,

a delusion.

Maybe I wasn't in my right mind,

because if I was,

I probably wouldn't have gotten so dangerously close to you in the first place.

Free Cone Day. Free Me Day.

I wanted to say,

I'm pretty now;

let's hang out sometimes.

I just don't know that,

between

you - whom I think might be lured by such artificiality and superficiality - and

I - who resort to such measure - ,

which one of us is more pathetic.

rummy333

Ask me anything (photo too) at:http://www.society.me/rummy333

On a Cab

We talked;

not because I had missed you dearly,

not because I wished to share with you slices of my life in your absence,

not because I wanted to know about slices of your life in my absence,

not because it was so natural for us to talk and laugh,

most definitely, not because I longed for the moment every single day,

but because there was a third person present,

and because of the social mask of perfection I had so consciously put on.

I was glad;

because I didn't have to see your face and look at you in the eyes,

because you didn't have to see my face and look at me in the eyes,

since that was already all the strength I could muster.

Just A Dream

While you were probably dreaming about someone else,

your images flooded my brain;

While you were probably talking to someone else,

your voice filled up my ears;

While you were probably walking with someone else,

I retraced every steps we had taken together, in my mind;

While you were probably laughing with someone else,

your past laughters rekindled my tears;

...

---------------------------------------------------------

Things change, don't they?

Thing changes, doesn't it?

You just don't want me anymore, do you?

Someone

Someday,

someone might have to change because of something.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There are a million words that I want to say to you, but you will hear none.

There are a million stories waiting to be told, but you will not know of any.

There are a million ungiven smiles and kind hugs, but not a single one will be delivered to you.

There are a million emotions waiting to be expressed, but not even one will be shown to you.

There are a million dreams with you that I want to share, but you will never be a part of one in reality.

There are a million things I wish we could do together, but I'll make sure none of it happens.

Together, we have a million possibilities, but we made all of them remain impossible.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Someday,

someone might have to change because of something.

I'd never have thought that that something would be you.

I Need You

I need you like water, like breath, like rain.
But you were just like alcohol - addicting, intoxicating and debilitating

I need you like mercy from Heaven's gate.
But you pushed me through bottomless hell, and left me there without a glance back

There's a freedom in your arms, that carry me through.
Your touches weighed me down, killing me slowly from the inside out

I need you.
Still,
I need you

You're my only reason.
The reason to change who I used to be, to not care, to be perfect

You're my only truth.
Because all I ever heard from you was lie

I need you.
Still,
I need you,

Perhaps as much as ever.

Just Another Mundane Scene

I stared, vacantly, at him for a sec, before

he spoke.

His mouth began to form an arch.

Everything moved in a slow motion now.

The sound cut across the air significantly slower than the sight.

I saw, clearly, a fully-formed 'O', before

I heard,

a delayed

"GO!"

and the explosion came.

In Conjunction with the Previous Post

Finding true love is like winning a lottery.

The chance of getting it is so small that I'd rather not dream about it.

.

In Conjunction with the Next Post

You are the first, and the only, entry in my hate-list.

To be precise, the list exists only for you and you alone.

.

Resemblance

In this dark circle,

The Light that shines

The reflection

The cooling shadow

...

Iridescence at the end of the tunnel

I squeezed through, optimistic,

before the bone-crushing pain fell.

Unreasonableness

"I trust you."

"If 'you' don't exist, how can I live?"

Are these equivalence of Love?

Obviously not.

Or maybe the first sentence is,

but the second one isn't.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Here and There

In this dimension

time proceeds and retreats

with irregular pace

while I stand still

Forcing my eyes shut

I see colours at the back of my eyelid

that are drawn by the almost invisible string

Treading the thinnest strand,

loneliness creeps heavy

Unbearable.

-----------------------------------------------

ความทรงจำ - Musketeers

อยู่ในช่วงเวลา

จะนานจะช้า ยังยืนที่เก่า

ข่มตาสักเท่าไหร่

...

คืนวันเก่าๆยังคอยย้ำ

...

If I were you

If I were you, I'd definitely love me

If I were you, I'd say "I love you" to me everyday

If I were you, I'd miss me everyday

If only I were you

...

If I were you, I'd hold only my hands

If I were you, I'd just look at me everyday

If I were you, I'd dream that we're lovers

If only I were you

...

If only I were you,

I'd not hesitate

I'd just make a decision

If only I were you,

I'd say "I love me".

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Ball Jarulak- one of my fav singers

He was born in the U.S. and grew up in Thailand

Started to follow his dream in music career since 17

He's now 24, and his songs are all so cute ><

The Korean part is by a Korean girl that he likes

Basically this is the song that he wants to give to her ^^

how sweet~~~

Unsent Message (3)

I still remember your wallet.
What kind of forgetting is this?

Memory is a funny thing.
The good parts enter first into oblivion,
because I believe they are the most torturing

But in the details hide a multitude of needles
not fatal, but tormenting in a different way

Calmly removing them one by one,
every single piece is a reminder of my stupidity, of time wasted
It's all about me now,
and the pain,
and patience.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Something starts and ends in 3 messages
Pathetically short but excruciatingly long
a story; a dark fairy tale; a lesson.

Unsent message (2)

Everyone keeps saying we should be friends
Can you give me a reason why?

Because I was betrayed?
Because my feelings were abused?

When torn by dilemma, I always walked towards you
Look at where I am now -
alone in the dark,
burnt by caustic teardrops.

I wanted to ask you, like I always did, about what I should do
Because I believed with my whole heart,
but what to do now when all I ever heard was lie.

I'm exhausted
Can you give me a way out?
Can I trust you, for one last time?

To close my eyes and wait
is all I could do.

Unsent message (1)

The last time you were sick, I didn't take care of you because:

1) I didn't know where you lived
2) Your girlfriend wasn't me

Now that I've cleared the first condition, and you're sick,
can you help me clear the second one?

With Me

Just forget everything

Leave everything here and walk away

Do you not know that when I chase you away, it’s when I need you the most?

Do you not think that those piercing words have to cut through my flesh first, before they reach you?

Do you not realize that the sharp edges in those words are made out of the debris of my fractured self?

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

All those memories and nostalgic moments

Thousands…millions of them

With you…within

I will manage

I thought you understood, and will understand

I could not have been more wrong

It’s my choice to be blind, to refuse the fact that you probably do understand

Because it’s too painful

to admit that you knew, but still did what you did

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As night becomes dawn, words aren’t enough.

Bonds are broken

Don’t look back: I’m just sending you off, before returning to my place

Tearing it with my hands, do you not see how they bleed?

Irrevocable, just so that I won’t regret

The painted glass above my head crumbled down in pieces

I looked up, and closed my eyes - awashed in the glittering rain.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Leave,

even if I collapse, out of breath

desperate to call, but thankfully held back by my dignity

Because it's necessary.